Motherhood and the stink eye

As all of you know by now, I have two rambunctious boys.  I love them to pieces but they can be quite a handful sometimes.  I try to do the best I can but sometimes my best doesn't feel like enough.  Usually I get that feeling when I am hauling two screaming kids out of the store or the park and more than one mom gives me the stink eye.  At times like that, I alternately want to melt into oblivion or glare back at them and ask "What are you staring at?"  Most of the time I just avert my eyes and power through.  Do I ever regret having my kids so close together?  No. (I have been asked that by more than one person).  Do I wish I had a nanny?  No.  I won't lie, sometimes it seems like paradise but I didn't have kids so someone else could raise them.  I am a mom and I relish that role, even during the hard times. 

Getting the stink eye from strangers is bearable because I know they don't know how awesome my boys really are.  But feeling judged or actually being judged by people I know stings quite a bit.  Instead of "helpful hints," half concealed smirks, or judgement rolling off a person in waves(you know that feeling you get when not a word is said but feelings are still made quite clear), I think moms deserve a pat on the back and some encouragement.  At a quilt show, for example, Max was making his opinion known at an ear shattering decibel.  I calmed him down and one old lady told me(in her sweet old lady voice) that boys don't like quilting so I shouldn't bring my kids to quilting things while another lady patted me on the back and told me I was her hero for teaching my kids to appreciate beautiful things.  The pat on the back gave me the lift I needed to turn that moment into a teaching opportunity for Max.  So that is the type of person I try to be: the friends who lets you know that you are a fantastic person no matter what.

Motherhood has helped me learn compassion on a whole new level.  Each child has his or her own personality, complete with challenging behaviors and strengths.  I believe Heavenly Father entrusts us with these precious souls because we can teach them and they, along with refining us, can help us learn a thing a two.  Because I feel this way, I try to give moms and dads the benefit of the doubt.  We are all doing the best we can and trying our best to raise happy, well-mannered, spiritually minded kids.  Recently a friend of mine wrote about a experience she had after a tough day with her son.  It reminded me that all moms  have hard moments and we truly are doing a good job even if the fruit of our efforts is not immediately apparent.  So to all of those moms out there, thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs with me.  Knowing that other people have similar experiences helps me be a better mom and a better, more compassionate friend.