The longest week ever.

A few weeks ago my sister called to let me know that her family would be in St. Louis for about three weeks.  Since we hadn't seen each other for about a year, I decided to take the boys to visit for a week.  After consulting our calendar, we decided on July 5th to July 12th.  As the 5th approached, I grew more and more excited for our trip home.  On the Fourth of July, Carl and I decided to have a day of fun-filled family activities. We got out of the house early and went to the botanical gardens to let Max look at the trains.  Everything was going swimmingly until I got a phone call from my brother that changed everything.

Brock called me around 11:00 am and let me know that my sister, Terri, and her grand-daughter, Bella, were in a serious car accident.  Both of them were in critical condition but we didn't have much information beyond that.  As the day wore on, I received periodic updates from Brock and Jen and the prognosis went from bad to worse.  As I packed for our trip home, I felt a certain heaviness.  I knew that this trip would not be the relaxing vacation I had planned.  Along with swimsuits, sunscreen, and play clothes, I packed a few outfits appropriate for a funeral.

The boys and I landed in St. Louis around 2:00 pm.  I ran home and dropped the boys off with Jordan and a sitter and went straight to Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital.  Nothing could have prepared my for what I saw.  Bella, who was 18 months old, was in the PICU with severe head trauma.  My mom had told me that Bella was on a ventilator and was in a coma but like I said, nothing could have prepared me for actually seeing Bella's little body in that hospital bed.  I think what I saw was every mother's worst nightmare.  Bella looked almost perfect, except for the obvious trauma to her head.  I just cried for a while and then almost passed out.  My niece(and Bella's mom), Sharese, was a mess.  She is quite young and was having a tough time handling the whole situation.  My mom and I stayed with Bella the whole day.  I can't even describe the mix of emotions that I felt.  Like I said, it was the worst thing I have ever been through.  I can't even imagine what Sharese and Brian must have been feeling.

I won't go into all the details but I will say that Bella passed away at about 9:30 pm.  I think being with her at that time was the hardest part.  I watched as the doctors performed the test to determine whether brain death occurred and of course, it had.  Bella's body from the neck down was perfect so Sharese and Brian, Bella's father, made the difficult decision to donate Bella's organs.  She has already saved 3 lives and we think she saved a few more that we don't yet know about. 

The next few days were a blur of activity.  Lots of tears were shed and arrangements were made for the funeral.  Bella's viewing was on Sunday and her funeral was on Monday morning.  My amazing husband drove to St. Louis on Saturday night so he could help me with the boys and support Sharese and her family.  I don't think I could have made it without his support.  He drove home Monday after the funeral and the boys and I flew home Tuesday evening.

I have never been more grateful for the gospel.  Whenever I looked at Bella, whether it was in the hospital bed later in her casket, I could see my kids.  My knowledge of the Plan of Salvation helped me get through this awful time.  I know that families can be together.  I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and that Bella had a special purpose on earth and is doing a special work beyond the veil.  Sharese didn't have that same knowledge and the not knowing was dragging her down.  She had little hope and without hope, it seemed that it was hard for her to keep going.  Fortunately, there were opportunities to share bits of the gospel with her and assure her of Heavenly Father's love.  I think it will take time for all of us to heal but I know we will because of the Atonement and the gospel. 

Terri, my sister, is still in the ICU.  She is expected to survive.  She also sustained massive injuries but the doctors were able to stabilize her.  She will probably be in the hospital for about 2 months.  Right now our main concern is pneumonia.  She does have it and the doctors are concerned that the infection could lead to greater complications. 

Please say a prayer for Sharese and Terri, in particular, and my whole family, in general.  I am still exhausted, both emotionally and physically, so I can't even imagine how Sharese and Terri must be feeling.  I can't adequately describe how I am feeling except to say that I feel sick.  And I feel heavy.  I believe in the power of prayer so I am sure that your prayers will help all of us and lift our spirits.